it has been a year since the last post. nobody comes here, even i myself dont. so much so much has happened for the past year. i guess everything has came to an end, after 5 years and 5 months, from i was 14, till i'm almost 20. all that happened in these 5 years, shall always be kept in a deep part of my heart and mind. was reading my yahoo mails, the whole mailbox was filled with your mails, mails that u sent for the last 5 years, not one did i deleted it. it was a private mailbox just for you. i guess i was a happy girl in the past, i already kinda forgot how that kind of happiness feels like already. you wrote sweet mails to me, you tell me about your life and your problems, emails an msn was such an important part of our relationship due to the distance. i also went to that webpage u set up for me. surprisingly, it's still there. i hope it stays there forever. i read what you wrote, couldn't believe i was so important in your life in the past, i still do remember how i felt when i first read that website. i cried, but it wasnt tears of sadness.
today i walked past paradiz centre. i pass by there quite often, and i always try not to think of you. nowadays i try not to think of you, because everytime i think of you, i feel a stab in my heart. i remember i'll always meet you near your house, and it's always me waiting for you. i remember we went to the prata shop for a few times, i remember me going up to your house, sleeping like a dead log while you watched soccer.
i have already tried my best, i gave my all in this relationship. i pressed on despite all the disappointments. i treat you the best i could. i do everything for you with all my sincerity. i never treat another person as well as i did to you. i was willing to do anything just for you. but too bad, i've learnt that you dont always reap what you sow. perhaps you dont realise how i am to you, perhaps what i thought was my best wasnt good enough at all to you, perhaps our relationship wasn't strong enough to withstand the test of distance, perhaps i dont mean that much to you that i thought i was. whatever it is, i know it's time to move on. i've told myself that many times in the past, but this time, it's really the time to move on. i wouldnt want to look back anymore. people grow up, people change, people go. i hope there will be this day to come which i can think of you, but not feel all the sorrows i'm feeling now anymore.
michie-
--11:40 AM--
